A crowdfunding website set up specifically to buy drugs, called Chipping In, has proven to be a huge success, according to Wunderground sources.
Chipping In CEO Paul Esco-Barr claims that he came up with the idea for the website during a drug fueled house party.
“We’ve all been there,” explained Mr Esco-Barr earlier. “You’re at a party, trying to get the money together for a bag of something or other and inevitably things get messy. One person will ring a dealer and arrange to get something and then it’s left to them to remember who paid what, who still owes how much and a series of other factors that not even Carol Vorderman can work out.”
“Now, with the aid of Chipping In, those early morning catastrophes are completely avoidable,” continued the entrepreneur. “All you have to do is set the target amount, say £200, and all of your friends can log in and pay an equal amount, once the target number is reached we’ll automatically contact your local dealer and as soon as he delivers the drugs to you the money will be transferred directly to him.”
“Some of the dealers we work with also offer a ‘tic’ service,” confirmed Mr. Esco-Barr. “This will allow trusted users to delay the payment to the dealers until a later date and we’ll even allow partial payments to be made, meaning that if one or two people in the group don’t have the money there and then, the rest of the group can pay and only they will have to pay at a later date, usually next Friday. We’re revolutionising drug dealing here.”
Local dealer Mike “Fifty Bag” Robinson, claims that Chipping In has made his life “a lot easier” and saved him “hundreds of hours” since he joined up.
“It’s fucking brilliant mate,” claimed Fifty Bag enthusiastically. “You wouldn’t believe the amount of time I waste chasing people up after sorting them out at parties. It used to get very messy but now, thanks to Chipping In, it’s not even an issue for me anymore. I won’t even answer my phone these days unless it’s a Chipping In deal.”
According to the latest statistics, over five million people have signed up to Chipping In since it was launched in July of this year, with an estimated two hundred million pounds worth of drugs being sold in that time.