A man who just buried both his parents is having trouble updating his social media accounts because he is unsure which emoji shows how he’s feeling.
Peter Swan, who lost both of his parents last week in a bizarre ice cream related accident, has been in social media limbo after discovering there is no “grieving emoji” available for use.
“I just don’t know what to be doing with myself,” claimed the recently bereaved son. “I’m only just getting over losing parents, the last thing I needed was a social media issue like this. Have I not been through enough already the last couple of weeks? I just don’t have the patience for this anymore.”
Mr Swan’s parents were reportedly killed when a yacht that was being lifted into a marina by crane fell and crushed them while they were queuing to buy ice creams.
“There’s just no emojis out there to show how I’m feeling,” continued Swan. “And without the emoji, I’m not even sure how I’m actually feeling. The whole thing is just one big confusing shit storm. I was going to use the poop emoji or the sad face with tears emoji but I use both of them all the time for menial things and they just don’t capture the pain I’m feeling after a yacht fell on my parents’ heads.”
“I don’t want people to think that I’m heartless because I haven’t addressed my parents’ death on Facebook or Twitter but I come from the digital generation, we use txt talk and emojis instead of words, I guess I’ve never learned how to express my feelings in real words,” explained the grieving young man. “Even now, while I’m talking to you, I have a constant stream of emojis flashing through my head before the words come out.”
According to friends of Mr Swan, the young man is set to turn his grief into a career by designing a series of “serious emojis”. He is already believed to be in negotiations with a number of social media platforms about featuring the emoji series, which will include the “feeling suicidal emoji”, the “I’ve just had a miscarriage emoji” and the “I think I was date raped last night emoji”.