Social media website, Instagram, has announced that it is now too old for EDM as it approaches its fifth birthday in October of this year.
The website moved to ban the EDM hashtag yesterday after realising that it has spent the majority of its first five years in existence listening to the crass and cheap version of electronic music.
“I started to notice that I wasn’t really into EDM anymore a couple of weeks ago when I was watching a live stream from TomorrowLand,” explained Instagram in an exclusive interview with Wunderground. “I was watching David Guetta, and he played a nursery rhyme, and I thought to myself ‘I’m nearly five now, I’m too old for nursery rhymes’, that was a real pivotal moment for me, then after him this guy called Solomun came on.”
“At first I was like ‘where’s the drop?’ but the more I listened to it, and got into the groove, I realised it didn’t need a drop,” continued the social media website. “It was brilliant, I liked all the bits of it, not just drops, and the DJ didn’t have to tell the crowd to put their hands in the air or anything, they just kind of knew to do it naturally.”
“After the Solomun guy was finished Afrojack came on and I just couldn’t get into his set at all,” claimed a blushing Instagram. “I was actually cringing while I was watching it and it wasn’t just him, it was all of the EDM DJ’s, I feel kind of embarrassed about ever even liking it in the first place.”
“So I decided I’d get rid off it all together. Since then I’ve been checking out loads of different, non EDM, DJs,” explained Instagram enthusiastically. “Carl Cox, Mano Le Tough and Dixon are all my favourites. I can’t believe I was listening to EDM this time two weeks ago. But I guess everyone goes through a stage of listening to really crap music before their taste matures and they get some sense. I’m just glad I copped on sooner rather than later.”
According to reports from the social media universe, Facebook and Twitter have both applauded Instagram’s bravery in removing EDM and claimed that it “was only doing what everyone else was thinking”.