Hot Ass Pics Make Tracks On YouTube Sound Three Times Better, Reveals Study
A study carried out by the Nice Ass Appreciation Committee has found that songs which use a picture of a nice ass instead of a video on YouTube sound up to three times better then those which don’t....
View ArticleWhite Supremacist Actually Just Massive Miley Cyrus Fan
A suspected white supremacist hate preacher is actually just a massive Miley Cyrus fan, it has emerged. 42-year-old Alan McCoid was arrested this morning after being suspected of making offensive...
View ArticleDJ Makes Anti-Gay Rant To Intentionally End Own Career After Becoming Fed Up...
A DJ on the cusp of stardom has decided to make a homophobic rant on his social feeds after becoming massively disillusioned with fame. 27-year-old Marcus Albright, who DJs under the name Sick Bitch,...
View ArticleFacebook To Add Feature Making It Impossible To Add People While Drunk
The bosses at Facebook have received widespread praise for their next planned update which will make it impossible for users to add people while they’re drunk. Facebook supremo Mark Zuckerberg...
View ArticleMan Starts Crowdfunding Campaign To Buy The Rights To will.i.am’s Music And...
A man in Denver, Colorado, has started a crowdfunding campaign to buy the rights to all of will.i.am’s music and destroy it forever. Jack Carthy started the campaign on the popular crowdfunding website...
View Article“I’ll Pay You Next Month, I Swear” Promises Beatport
Following the news that its parent company SFX is going private, online music portal Beatport has been frantically promising its debtors that the company will “pay you next month, I swear”. After being...
View ArticleInstagram Turns 5 This Year – Now Too Old For EDM
Social media website, Instagram, has announced that it is now too old for EDM as it approaches its fifth birthday in October of this year. The website moved to ban the EDM hashtag yesterday after...
View ArticleBoiler Room Audiences Being Held There Against Their Will, Claims Source
A source who spent the last few years working as a promoter for popular DJ set video-feed, Boiler Room TV, has made the startling claim that the audiences featured on the show are being held there...
View ArticleGirl Cancels Netflix Account After Third Pregnancy In 4 Years
An Irish girl has cancelled her Netflix account “for good” after receiving news that she was pregnant for the third time in four years. Melissa Matthews, a twenty eight year old full time mum, blames...
View ArticleSoundcloud Can’t Believe People Still Have The Cheek To Upload Mixes
Soundcloud bosses have released a statement highlighting their disgust at people who still feel it is appropriate to upload mixes to their website. According to sources within the company, Soundcloud...
View ArticleBe-At TV Blamed For Death Of Aspiring DJ
In local news, a boy has reportedly died from sleep deprivation, with his parents placing the blame squarely on the music he listened to on popular club streaming website Be-At TV. Nineteen year old...
View Article3 Dead After Man Opens NSFW Page In Office
Three people have been reported dead in an office in Dublin, Ireland, after one of them opened a not safe for work, or NSFW, webpage during office hours. The men, who have yet to be identified, were...
View ArticleMan Posting Feminist Status On Facebook Hoping It Gets Him “Some Pussy”
A man who posted on number of feminist status updates on Facebook is hoping that they will get him “some pussy” in the near future. Ryan Allen, a twenty year old student from Cardiff, has admitted to...
View ArticleSaying “That Awkward Moment When” On Social Media Number 1 Cause Of Awkward...
Saying “that awkward moment when” in a status update on social media has today been named as the world’s number one cause of awkward moments. The world’s leading authority on awkward moments, Quentin...
View ArticlePosting Shuffler Videos On Facebook Guaranteed To Make People Think You’re A...
Posting shuffler videos on Facebook has been revealed as one of the most effective ways to make people think you are a dickhead. According to research, four out of five people who seen shuffler videos...
View ArticleMan Who Read “What Happens Next Is Truly Shocking” Article Not Shocked At All
A man who read an article with “What Happens Next Is Truly Shocking” in the headline has been left bitterly disappointed after not being shocked at all. Ian Evans, a twenty six year old carpenter,...
View ArticleInstagram Motivational Posts Fail To Motivate A Single Person In 2015
According to the results of a new study, not a single person became motivated by reading motivational quotes on Instagram in 2015, despite the posting of more than one million of them. The independent...
View ArticleMan Considers Himself Photographer After Taking Series Of Dick Pics
A man who recently took a series of dick pics to send to a woman he just matched with on Tinder, now considers himself a photographer. Dean Barnes, a twenty five year old from Kent, England, is already...
View ArticleTeenager Devastated After Discovering Full Time Mad Bastard Isn’t A Real Job
An English teenager has been left devastated after discovering that being a “full time mad bastard” isn’t a real job. Peter Thornton, fourteen, has been left reappraising his options in life after a...
View ArticleWhatsApp Group Chat Sure To Turn Into Piss Taking Nonsense Any Second Now
The WhatsApp group chat you are involved in with your friends is sure to descend into piss taking nonsense any second now. According to WhatsApp notifications, your friend Tony asked the group if...
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