According to the results of a new study, not a single person became motivated by reading motivational quotes on Instagram in 2015, despite the posting of more than one million of them.
The independent study, carried out over the course of 2015, ranked “single women making sly digs at their ex-boyfriends” as the main offenders for posting quotes, followed by gym rats, vegans and feminists.
Kelly Sinclair, a nineteen year old self-proclaimed “feminist sex-pot”, referred to the results as a “shambles” and “the lying of filth of men”.
“No way are feminists responsible for that many online quotes. This study must have been conducted by men who hate us and want us to burn. I need to get onto Instagram immediately and vent my anger in the form of a motivational quote targeting these disgusting men” raged Kelly.
With over 5,000 people taking part in the survey, key results confirmed that reading quotes typically inspired feelings of anger, rage, sorrow and apathy. Often resulting in quote poster being secretly hated by all of their friends and family.
Daniel Pickett-Smith, a twenty three year old barista from Brighton offered us his views on the topic.
“Nobody wants to be preached to on a daily basis. When I wake up at six o’clock in the morning, knowing I have a to do a nine hour shift in Starbucks, the last thing I want to see is a fucking quote telling me to ‘live every day like it’s your last’ or to ‘be the energy you want to attract’. Fuck off. I’m about to pour coffee for people I hate. Shove your energy up your arse.”
The study also asked people for their reasons for posting quotes.
“Motivational quotes are a vital way for me to make myself look good,” explained Thirty three year old Rachel Taylor. “I post intellectual quotes which give people an impression of the person I want them to think I am, rather than the person I actually am. I often post quotes from the Dalai Lama about peace on earth and from Marilyn Monroe about the joys of being a woman, knowing people will think I am an intelligent and happy-go-lucky type of girl.”
“The truth of the matter is I couldn’t give a shit about peace on earth. I hate my life, I hate my children, I love seeing my friends fail and I want Botox,” vented Rachel.
According to the survey, 100% of people answered that they had never been inspired after reading a quote. A staggering 94% answered that the person posting the quote is likely to be attention seeking. While a meagre 3% of people admitted to posting motivational quotes with the remaining 97% in agreement that it is a very ‘cunt-like’ thing to do.