A man who recently took a series of dick pics to send to a woman he just matched with on Tinder, now considers himself a photographer.
Dean Barnes, a twenty five year old from Kent, England, is already believed to have updated his C.V. and LinkedIn profile after discovering his flair for photography late last night.
“I really think I’ve found my calling in life this time,” claimed Barnes earlier. “I did really think I’d found my calling the times I thought I was a DJ, writer, barber, tattoo artist and the next Banksy too, but this time it’s different, as soon as I took those photos of my dick it felt like something inside me changed and all I could think about was taking more dick pics. I must have took, and sent, over two thousand photos last night.”
“I’m not one to boast and I’m known around here for being quite humble,”continued Barnes, actually known amongst his friends as a “cocky overconfident prick”. “But it just feels like I’m a total natural with a camera in my hand. I’ve taken a few snaps before but until last night I’d never really taken a photo.”
“Everything just clicked, the light, the background, the perspective, it was all perfect,” he explained passionately, “and the star of the show, my dick, was looking as fantastic as ever. They say any photographer is only as good as the models they work with, well, if that’s the case, I must be the world’s greatest photographer because I can’t imagine any other model in the world being as professional and easy to work with as my dick.”
“I feel like this is the start of something really beautiful for me and my dick, I’m already looking into renting some gallery space and putting on an exhibition. I’ll call it something really fancy like; A Midsummer Night’s Dick or The Dick and the Willows.”
According to Tinder user Tammy, Mr Barnes’ dick pics were an unwelcome distraction to an otherwise peaceful Wednesday evening.
“My phone was absolutely hopping last night,” confirmed Tammy. “I matched with this guy, Dean, and straight away he started sending me pictures of his cock, not even a hello first, just dick pic, after dick pic. He hasn’t even got a nice cock, it’s all lumpy and small, if it was mine I wouldn’t be showing it to anyone.”
Friends of Mr Barnes have confirmed that he “changes careers more often than he changes his underwear” and will most likely become bored of photography and move onto something else in the next week or two.